And her Amazon rank? Shooting through the roof.
So a big thank you to everyone who ignores the many hard-working authors out there who struggle to get a little notice for the fruits of their blood, sweat and tears.
It's good to see you'll throw money at a rude twit who can barely spell her tirades, rather than buy a really good book written by a person with a modicum of professionalism.
I see so many forums devoted to this person now, most of them entitled what not to do to be a successful writer. And so many posts from people declaring how this person is committing professional suicide. And endless comments from people declaring that they will never ever purchase a work from this person for all eternity and time.
And yet, people are buying her book. And then leaving comments about it being a big steaming pile of crap.
Jacqueline Howett is fecking brilliant.
Newsflash, people: She doesn't give a CRAP about what you think about her. She doesn't give a crap about the fact that you're declaring her persona non grata in the writing world.
Because she's sitting back and watching the Amazon hits, and eagerly awaiting the cha-ching that's soon to be sitting in her bank account.
Congrats. Really. You played right into her hands.
I mean, I'm sure that first comment she left was a legitimate tirade full of self-righteous indignation, or as she might spell it, septic rightness indigestion.
But then the outraged comments started to flow. The link started flying around Twitter and Facebook and probably any writing website you can think of. And old Jacqueline had her Oprah-esque AHA! moment.
I did it, she probably thought. I got their attention. The hook is set, now I just have to reel them in.
All she needed was a little more bait. And hell, she didn't have to even work at it. Just throw out a few more Cujo-style foaming at the mouth pseudo-rants, and a couple, 'Eff you's, and it was game, set, match.
Meanwhile, struggling authors everywhere are scratching their heads, wondering what just happened.
Why are they buying her book? Why are they wasting their money? Why aren't they reading the comments about the awful grammar?
and most importantly:
Why can't I get that kind of luck?
Let's be honest. Many of us who have a slew of good reviews, but shitty Amazon numbers are fantasizing about doing the same thing. We kinda wish we had it in us to be a fraction of the dickhead that Jacqueline Howett has shown herself to be.
But, alas, there is that reality that we didn't just vomit up a story, shun any and all editing, and declare ourselves the next Hemingway.
We were foolish enough to think that crafting a quality story was enough. We were insane enough to adopt this zen-like Kevin Costner Field of Dreams-ish mantra: If you write it, they will read.
Well, that's a load of horse-crap.
We forgot the contrived controversy.
We forgot that people, in general, are a bunch of voyeuristic dorks. People take pleasure in watching someone go down in flames.
Think I'm wrong? Remember old Charlie Sheen? Duh! Winning! Quick, let's all follow him on Twitter! Maybe he'll tweet two minutes before he finally loses it for good and ends up in the morgue!
So, what to do? How do we as authors deal with a potential audience that seems more intent on supporting the trend of the moment rather than a hard-working author who does everything they can to produce the best quality story for their readership?
Because there's no getting past it. The best thing you can do is channel your rage over our society of literary rubberneckers who'll throw down twenty bucks to read what Snooki's ghost-writer has to say about life as a slutty Puffalump with big hair and probably a large collection of inflammation salves in her medicine cabinet. Channel it into more good writing that nobody will read. Because even though infamy pays, it only pays for about fifteen minutes or so.
And remember, Jacqueline Howett may be laughing all the way to the bank right now, but it doesn't change the fact that after her fleeting moment of fame passes, she'll still be a big fat flaming poopie head.
In conclusion, fuck you, you greasy animals. Ya'lls don't even know me, or know good writing if it bit you in your asses.
Now, go buy my book on Amazon.