Once upon a time, long before we all gave Facebook practically every tidbit of our personal information, there was this site called MySpace. Yes, I even had an account, but eventually left with the advent of Facebook. I didn't do very much there, mostly it was to connect with family and old friends.
MySpace had this bizarre Match.com vibe. Every message from a stranger was a come-on. My beauty inspired poetry in men from Sacramento to Timbuktu. MySpace was great for the ego.
Don't worry, guys. I have a mirror. While I'm not the Bride of Frankenstein, I'm no Heidi Klum, by any stretch of the imagination. There's no way I fell for a poem describing the hypnotic effect my eyes held on Bart from Kansas, especially considering the only picture of me on the profile featured me wearing sunglasses.
I recently set up a profile over on good old MySpace, mostly for the purpose of catching the eye of any potential reader still adrift in the MySpace wormhole. Not much happens over there, by the way, for any authors wondering if it's a good place to connect.
But the ego-stroking. That's still there.
After a month or so, I've amassed a plethora of odes to my dazzling smile, my gossamer hair, and my obvious intellect, despite the clear post saying I am not shopping for a mate, only promoting my writing.
you are beautiful
wow you look very pretty
beautiful is your name
Clearly, e.e. cummings is a strong influence on the boys of MySpace, because the capitalization, it is sparse.
I couldn't stand to look away from ur profile for what I seek might very much be before my eyes but how am I to know that without taking a leap.
Unfortunately I'm afraid of heights and not much of a leap-taker.
wow u really look beautiful and great looking woman there like am angel
Themes have begun to develop, as you can see.
what a pretty angel well not all men can figure out the beauty in a lady as i do and value a precious angel like u my late mum thought me how to treat a woman like a woman no doubt about ur beauty u are so beautiful is good to be urself dont photocopy u are so fresh and charming how is ur day i will like to know more about u if u dont mind have a sweet day lovely angel.
And it's always nice to know I inspire stream of consciousness writing, I suppose, though I'm confused how I could photocopy my whole self. I'm not that bendy, you see.
Looking into your profile, I can see beauty, looking into your soul I can see passion,I have seen sunsets, sunrises, blue oceans, deep seas, lush forests, dense jungles, but nothing not even these could compare to the beauty that lies before me.Light can be defined without sun. Sweetness can be defined without honey. Fragrance can be defined without a rose, but beauty cannot be defined without you,even not seeing u yet.
Right about now, I feel I should mention the fact that my ideal man would bother to spell out the word 'you' when writing sonnets to celebrate my awesomeness.
I believe I read your profile at least 2 different times (smile) and
each time I find myself more infatuated then the last. In all honesty I
am simply interested. Your profile did not say much but portrays a
person with mysteria and sensuality which is a extreme attraction to
But I do love a guy can read between the lines. I mean, even though my profile says this:
Central Pennsylvania author of Drew in Blue, a contemporary love story to be published December 1, 2010 by Lazy Day Publishing. Updates and links to come as I near my publication date! For more details and my blog, visit my website at www.jmkelleywrites.com
You can see how one would feel compelled to read it again and again to connect with the mysterious and sensual undertones I'm sending out.
So thank you, poetic men of MySpace, for making me feel like a Helen to your Paris. A Cressida to your Troilus. A Heidi Montag to your Spencer Pratt. Wait a second, I don't like the sound of that last one....