A list of annoyances that are easily avoidable, if only all of humanity would submit to my will....
Oh, Food Industry, how you like to make my orders complicated. I find it rather perplexing, though, considering my orders should make your life ever so much easier. Let's put our heads together and work out a plan of action together, shall we? That way, you can be more efficient, and I won't have to blow out an artery every time you get my order wrong, which is ALWAYS.
When I order a PLAIN HAMBURGER, the following offerings would not be correct:
When I order a medium original crust pizza with pepperoni and extra cheese, this does not mean an extra-large deep dish pizza with pepperoni, sausage, and double ham. Exclusive to Domino's: When I order, verbatum, "Original crust in the original recipe, not the new and improved garlic-salt laden pile of grossness, along with the original marinara sauce, not the new sauce-the OLD sauce,' I will be able to tell that you've deliberately ignored my bidding. I will proceed to hate you hard.
When I order a sweet tea, light on the ice, doubling up on the ice does not create a satisfied customer.
When I order french fries, I prefer the fries cooked.
When I order a hot fudge sundae with nuts and you produce a chocolate milkshake, you're going to hear about my discontent.
KFC-I promise you, I can tell the difference between Extra Tasty Crispy and Baked. I'm that good. Also, I can tell the difference between pot pie and hot wings. It's a gift.
(Important disclaimer: I don't actually eat a lot of fast food. Once a month I go somewhere to feed my need for artery-clogging garbage, and can never catch a break. I haven't had a correct order since 1998.)
Because you're on the roads, I can only assume that at one time in your life, you've had to take a driving test. Please help lower my blood pressure by heeding the following helpful suggestions.
Stop being so hot. Why can't you just chill out with the hurricanes, tornadoes, heat waves and blizzards? Why can't you be nice and moderate all the time. You know, rain when we need it, sun on the weekends. A nice 72 degrees inland, a good 80 degrees at the shore, with water warmed just-so. Is that so much to ask? Sheesh.
Please shush now. I saw everything you've ever done and will do the first time. You know, when Madonna did it eleventy years ago. Good effort, though.
Okay, so that's all I've got this moment. Feel free to add to the list, though. I love commiserating with others' contempt for humanity!